A few of the notions of the past decades are:
- Children should do as they are told
- Children should obey their parents
- Children should like all the relatives and kiss them every time they say hello and goodbye
- Children should generally listen to all adults
- Mom and dad know better and children don’t need to know why
- Too much cuddling is not good
- Children are not the priority…. parenting is not empowering enough…
- Too much kissing is not good
- Too much of anything is not good
- Co-sleeping is not good
- Children should ‘learn’ the hard way
- Ideally, children should behave in any given situation
- Children should be left to cry at school cause that’s how they learn to be independent
- Children should not embarrass us. Ever.
- Children have no say in anything, really
- Only if they are good they deserve a treat
- We shouldn’t spoil them
- Parents can use any method they think appropriate to punish their children
- Children are their parents’ reflections
- Our children belong to us
- Children have to follow every outdoor activity their parents choose for them
- Hitting children won’t damage them in any way
- Us, parents, have the right to publicly humiliate our children
- Parents are mostly right
- Children should naturally respect their parents
- Children should dress the way their parents want. They are children they don’t know better.
- Parents can tell off their children and shout at their children when they feel like it. Later they can apologize and everything is back to normal. The apology is optional.
I could go on forever. All the above statements are WRONG! Totally, completely WRONG. Start treating your children with respect, unlimited love, allowing them their space and the expression of their own unique thoughts and opinions, (READ: “Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children”)
Help them build their self-esteem so they will be better able to find the balance between being overly dependent or overly self-reliant. BE MINDFUL of your actions and behavior, (READ: “Bad Parenting: Expecting too much”)
Your children are unique and special in their own way, whichever way that is. They have their own pace, they don’t need to meet guidelines. Be the role model your children need. Raise children who will not have to recover from their childhood, (READ: “Parents: Follow your Instincts”).
“One generation of deeply loving parents would change the brain of the next generation, and with that, the world.” – Dr. Charles Raison