I have been a member of quite a few mom groups on Facebook for some time now. Most of them are really nice, informative, a place to meet other moms like you, exchange ideas, have some fun and laugh/obsess/get angry about stuff than only other moms can get – I know it sounds like a cliche but it is true. Many times women, by nature, being competitive, slightly argumentative and very proud moms, end up arguing with each other or engage in huge conflicts. Most of them are about breastfeeding, vaccinations and whether to work, -given the choice – or be a stay-at-home mom, to name a few. To be honest, I reached a point a few months ago when I decided to take myself out of certain groups which gave me more stress than peace of mind.
When it comes to all motherhood issues, women usually do what works the best for their families and that’s how its supposed to do – unless we are talking about vaccinations which should not really be optional. Working or staying at home to look after your children, mostly depends on your family’s financial status. However, there are moms who can afford to stay at home and raise their children but choose not to, like there are other who need the money but don’t work in favor of being home with their children.
People often argue that stay-at-home moms have it easier. That must be one of the biggest lies of our century. Going to work IS the easy way out. Staying at home with your children isn’t.
Moms who work, get up in the morning, probably run around like crazy to get everything ready before they go, then shower, put their make up on, they get dressed and they leave the house. They definitely get tired – no work is easy. They spend at least 9 hours a day (including travelling time), away from home. They surely have a work break , even 2 or 3. They chat with their colleagues, definitely have coffee or tea, maybe a cigarette break.
Meanwhile someone else washes, changes, cleans, plays, cooks for their children. By the time they come home, their children might already be in bed. I really sympathize for those moms cause they must feel horrible missing out on their children’s many moments – unless, of course, they took the decision to just follow their careers, so missing out on their children’s lives was their choice.
A stay at home mom, usually wears her pyjamas all day. Especially when the children are very small, there is not time to wash or get dressed. Their clothes are usually covered in milk, maybe baby vomit, and definitely food. They haven’t slept all night because of many reasons including the notion that they don’t work so the husband needs to sleep the most. Right? Then they run around like crazy too, in the morning.
They finish running around like crazy many any hours later, at night, when the children finally go to bed. During the day they rarely have time for a coffee or cigarette break, they clean, cook, and do another 6000000 jobs. They are exhausted both physically and mentally but mostly emotionally. They don’t feel that feminine anymore. Or independent. Or productive. Or career-oriented. Or sexy.
They never even go to the toilet on their own and when they do have the time for a solo shower or a bit of shaving that is considered a great luxury. Many stay-at-home-moms have been cut off form their friends. They don’t have time to socialize and the rare times they talk on the phone, they end up getting interrupted 6 times a minute and they can’t wait to hung up.
I am sure that, more or less, all moms have to face the same. All moms are doing the best they can. All moms are brave, courageous, unique and strong. It’s just that stay-at-home moms have an added hurdle.
Staying at home with your children, especially when they are very small has a thousand benefits and contributes to a child’s stable and healthy emotional well being and intelligence. It is also one of the greatest gifts. There is nothing better than that. Besides, our children don’t want a babysitter or a grandma. They want their parents. Choosing to stay at home when you have the option to go to work is very brave. It’s about time society, our governments and communities offered more help, support, respect and appreciation for all those moms who have made their children’s development a priority. Let it start from us.
I am a stay-at-home mom and I wouldn’t change it for the whole world! 🙂